Sometimes it feels paralyzing. Other times, it feels like sadness. But most of all, I think eventually there is freedom in the free fall. God works in the losses of life and he somehow turns them into good. He somehow weaves every heartache and painful situation into beauty. We serve a good God. We serve a God who cares about us and who is patient with us. We serve a God who is faithful, even when we are faithless.
Every night, I get lost in my thoughts because I’ve experienced tremendous losses, but I also know I have great things to look forward to in the future. Losses are not something that is new to me. Is loss new to anyone? We’ve all lost something whether it’s a friend or a job or your favorite memories being tarnished by something awful. Loss is there and it’s real. I wish I could say it gets easier after each loss, but honestly, I don’t think it does. It still stings and sometimes, yes, it indeed feels paralyzing.
But with every loss, something else comes into our lives because that’s how God works. At least, that’s how he’s always worked in my life. Not only that, he also will always prepare us because he’s a good and gracious God. We know this to be true, but we also know that it’s hard to remember this truth during difficult times in our lives.
A few days ago, I was battling this very thing. I was battling loss and wasn’t feeling so victorious. My anxieties get the best of me and often, I am brought down with my thoughts and it leads me into a funk. These funks last for days and are so hard to get out of. But even in the battle, God decides to show up and he did for me that day. For a few moments, I decided to shut out and the world and be with Jesus and it’s exactly what my soul needed. In the quiet of the day, I knew God was speaking to me when I turned to Isaiah.
“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary, his understand ins unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary and young men shall fall exhausted, but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint” – Isaiah 40:28-31
I’ve read this passage millions of times but this time, it struck a chord in me. Have I not known that God is everlasting? How could I forget that he does not faint or grow weary? Why do I doubt? Why do I grow restless when in him, I can find my rest?
“Who stirred up one from the east whom victory meets at every step? He gives up nations before him, so that he tramples kings underfoot, he makes them like dust with his sword, like driven stubble with his bow. He pursues them and passes on safely, by paths his feet have not trod. Who has performed and done this, calling the generations from the beginning? I, the Lord, the first, and with the last, I am He” – Isaiah 41:2-4
What struck me the most is the question, “Who has done this?” – and of course, it was God. God has been here before we were even formed in the womb. He was here. He laid the foundations of the earth. He is the Lord – the alpha and the omega – the beginning and the end. He is sovereign. He knows full well what he has planned for us and our future. He knows full well the losses we face. We must remember to find rest in Him because of who He says he is.
“It is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the on who helps you” – Isaiah 41:13
He is our helper. He knows the very depths of our soul. It was such an incredible time reading Isaiah and remembering who God says He is. Loss is a part of life. I’ve experienced a lot of it. Sometimes it paralyzes me. But when I read these little reminders of who God is, I remember truth. I’m reminded that He is who He says he is.
In the middle of the night when I can’t sleep and I let my anxious thoughts get to me, I pray that instead of fearing the worst, I run to my Savior where I find my rest. I pray that I remember that even in the losses of life, He is still there, and he always will be.
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you’ and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you, for I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” – Isaiah 43:1-3
We are not promised a life of smooth sailing waters and deliverance out of trials, but rather of God’s faithful presence in the midst of madness. We are never promised an easy life, but are promised His presence and that my friend, is far better than anything else this world has to offer us.