Fear is paralyzing.
Anxiety leaves you breathless.
And sometimes, your mind gives you sleepless nights.
It’s a battle you’re constantly fighting, and you wonder if you’ll have defeat it or keep on failing effortlessly.
When you deal with the battle of the mind constantly, the day to day can seem impossible. I know this life all too well. It’s not something I speak of often, but I’ve battled it for years, I just had no idea what it really was or why it was happening to me. I understand the tidal wave of mixed emotions or wondering if you really did turn your straight iron off, so you go back just to double check. When your mind runs in circles, it’s hard to believe that you’ll ever get free of it.
For me, my anxieties always end up going down the road of loss. My brain automatically assumes the worst, which, for me, is losing someone or something important to me. A few weeks ago, loss almost became a reality. I almost lost something that is extremely close to my heart, and the idea or thought of losing it shakes me to the core. Reality was hitting me hard, and to top it all off, I was away from home. In the grand scheme of things, I know it was good for me to be away, but it was equally just as hard. I wanted to control the situation, and my mind was spiraling just thinking about the what ifs and the why questions. Fear was controlling me, and I was letting it win. But, in the process, I was learning about surrender and I had finally come to grips with what I was dealing with. Control and stubbornness. I love to be in control more than I’d like to admit, and I am, oh so quietly stubborn.
I didn’t think I could, and sometimes I still struggle wondering if I ever will. But those struggles are just that. Struggles. Although they are very real, we have a source that will help us defeat them. We have a Savior that knows the complexity of our brains and why we worry about the things we do.
Over the course of the last few weeks, during this challenging season, ‘Be Still’ has been showing up countless times, even in one day. It was a constant reminder to myself that I wasn’t the one in control of anything, and in an odd way, it comforted me. I need not but be still and know who God is.
Is he not the creator of the universe?
Is he not the Savior of the world?
Hasn’t he always been faithful?
Oh, you of little faith- why do you doubt?
Being still in a trial is so difficult, but sometimes, we have no other option. God doesn’t just command us to be still and that’s the end of it. No, he commands us to be still and know… know that He is God. It’s a command that’s followed by a promise; a promise that He is God and He will always be God.
In Psalm 46:10, God told the psalmist, who was in the midst of chaos and confusion to be still and to know. To be still is to be vulnerable, it is to give God complete trust and surrender, even when you feel like you’re in the midst of a hurricane. It takes active faith to be still and to rest in the sovereign will of God.
It’s a truth that I don’t often like to remember because being in control is my thing. I want to control my career, the lives of my loved ones, and everything else in between. But I’m a finite human being and I have no power to control anything. But God does. In the midst of the chaos and questioning, God often whispers, and he wants us to run to him and let him take care of our burdens. He doesn’t want you to do this alone and he wants you to surrender.
Control is a big part of why I worry and why my anxious thoughts get the best of me. It’s a daily prayer of laying down my proud and surrendering to the one who holds the stars in place. He is the one who is in control. How that should be so comforting to us to know that the creator of the universe is the one who has us in the palm of his hands. We don’t have to worry because He’s got this.
Even in the midst of your anxiety and questioning, God has your future and he knows what’s best. There is beauty in surrender because sometimes, in the surrender, God can give that very that you gave up back to you.
Surrender and be still.
He is God.